My colleague Gene Braunstein writes comedy and helps businesspeople use humor in their marketing. He has written many sitcoms and since college, where they were roommates, has been friends with Jay Leno, so he knows the right funny people too.
I asked him for a humor piece as guest blogger and here you go. He certainly made me laugh when I read this. Thanks, Gene.
It’s Here! The Workaholic Holiday Gift Guide for Spouses and Friends
Like it or not, the holiday season is upon us, meaning that once again it’s time to start thinking about gifts for your favorite workaholic. No, it’s not too early. This is not a task for the squeamish.
To make this whole thing less daunting, here are a handful of suggestions from The Workaholic Holiday Gift Guide for Spouses and Friends.
Puzzles are in this year. For the busy-ness person in your life, give them The Workaholic’s Crossword Puzzle Book. Designed for the overly-driven, these relaxing brain-benders have all the letters filled in except one. This allows the least-intrusive diversion possible with an enormous sense of accomplishment in the shortest amount of time. For the real hyper-maniac, answers are provided.
Has your entrepreneur made some gawd-awful decisions this year and needs to feel good about him/herself again? Then the perfect gift is Sudoku—the False Sense of Security Edition. At the opposite end of the Workaholic Crossword Puzzle spectrum, this series of Sudoku grids are all blank and no matter what numbers are filled in, even if they’re all the same, they’re right! Quick, easy, and a great way to re-inflate the most punctured, shredded ego.
Another gift for the time-strapped business owner is the Workaholic’s Rubik’s Cube. This wonderful throw-back to simpler times is one big block of solid plastic with no moving parts. Order the Bonus Pack and you get a timer! For those who like more of a challenge, there’s also the Advanced Edition. This cube functions in the same traditional way as the original, except all sides are the same color. Choose blue, red, green or yellow, and for car lovers there’s the Henry Ford Model which is all black.
Finally, if someone you know is the Ultimate Multi-Tasking road warrior who thinks 12-Step programs are eleven steps too long, now comes the Workaholics Anonymous Travel System. It’s a portable “one-step” program where you admit your life has become unmanageable, but you don’t have time to talk about it. Available only in a downloadable .mp3 version that enables you to listen to the First (and only) Step while simultaneously talking on the phone, answering emails and taking a shower.
So don’t be deterred by any feelings of guilt, regret or remorse in this important shopping task. After all, it may be just an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. And God Bless us, everyone!
Founder and Chief Chief